Teen romance has been a staple of TV media for decades, capturing the excitement, heartbreak, and drama of young love. Shows like One Tree Hill, The Vampire Diaries, and Riverdale have given us iconic love triangles, grand romantic gestures, and sweeping declarations of passion. But as entertaining as these portrayals are, they often push unrealistic ideals of love and relationships to their young audiences.

The Tropes that Define Teen TV Romances

The "Soulmate" Ideal

One of the most enduring tropes in teen TV romances is the concept of "the one." Many shows center around the idea that there is one perfect person destined for the protagonist, often introducing love interests as soulmates who just "get" each other. This trope creates a romanticized notion that relationships are mystical or preordained, rather than something requiring effort and growth.

Take The Vampire Diaries, where Elena and Stefan’s love is introduced as pure and inevitable, only to later feed into another “soulmate” pairing when Damon enters the picture. While the drama is thrilling for viewers, it can reinforce the belief that true love is effortless and pre-destined, overshadowing the importance of communication and compatibility.

Grand Romantic Gestures

Another hallmark of teen romances is the grand romantic gesture. From standing outside a window with a boombox to prom proposals involving elaborate setups, these moments are larger-than-life expressions of love. While iconic, they risk creating expectations that love must always include dramatic displays.

In To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, Peter Kavinsky’s letter-writing and public displays of affection are undeniably swoon-worthy. However, young viewers may begin to equate romance with over-the-top acts, undervaluing subtle, everyday efforts that truly sustain relationships.

The Love Triangle Drama

Few tropes are more ingrained in teen media than the love triangle. Shows like Twilight and The O.C. thrive on the tension of a protagonist torn between two potential partners. While engaging for storytelling, this trope can paint a warped picture of relationships as inherently competitive or filled with indecision.

This narrative often prioritizes external validation over healthy dynamics, suggesting that being desired by multiple people is what makes the protagonist worthy of love. It rarely dives into real relationship concerns, like mutual respect or understanding.

Happily Ever After by Graduation

A majority of teen shows conclude their love stories with some version of "happily ever after" before the characters even finish high school. While this is a satisfying resolution for viewers, it can feed the belief that meaningful, lifelong love should happen in adolescence, which is rarely the case.

High School Musical is one such example, where Troy and Gabriella’s seemingly perfect romance resolves with no sign of potential future challenges. This narrative skips over the realities of young relationships, which often involve personal growth, changing priorities, and potential heartbreak.

The Influence on Young Viewers’ Perceptions of Love

Unrealistic Expectations for Relationships

These tropes collectively create skewed expectations for young audiences. Viewers may come to believe that love should be instant, all-consuming, and free of practical difficulties. For instance, viewers of The Fault in Our Stars might see the “epic love” between Hazel and Gus as aspirational, even though it overlooks the ordinary, messy aspects of real relationships.

When real-life relationships fail to live up to these heightened ideals, it can lead to dissatisfaction, self-doubt, or even the inability to recognize healthy dynamics. Young individuals might mistake passion for compatibility or see conflict as a sign the relationship isn’t “meant to be.”

Pressure to Perform Romance

Teen media often glorifies dramatic relationships, which can translate into pressure for young people to replicate these dynamics. They may feel obliged to constantly showcase affection on social media, reenact grand gestures, or portray their relationship as flawless to meet these unattainable ideals.

Internalized Gender Roles

Many teen romances also perpetuate outdated gender norms. Male characters are often depicted as aloof, emotionally distant “bad boys” who only open up for the “right girl.” Meanwhile, female characters are often positioned as dependent on their romantic partner for validation. These portrayals reinforce harmful stereotypes about how boys and girls should behave in relationships.

Shows like Gilmore Girls craft compelling love stories but fall into this trap by positioning Luke and Lorelai in ways that perpetuate such dynamics. This reinforces limiting roles both genders are expected to play in real life.

Examples of Shows and Movies That Challenge the Norms

Fortunately, not all teen media falls into these traps. A growing number of shows and films are challenging unrealistic standards, offering more balanced portrayals of love and relationships:

  • Sex Education (2019–): This series portrays teenage relationships with refreshing honesty. It addresses themes like consent, communication, and self-discovery, showing that love is as much about personal growth as connection. Relationships are messy, imperfect, and a learning experience, which is a rare narrative in teen dramas.
  • Eighth Grade (2018): This film realistically captures the awkwardness and vulnerability of early romance. Instead of leaning into glamorous or over-the-top displays, it shows the small, tentative steps of young relationships with endearing authenticity.
  • The Summer I Turned Pretty (2022–): While the show does feature traditional romantic tropes, it also emphasizes emotional self-awareness and navigating evolving relationships in adolescence.

By breaking free from stereotypes, these stories resonate deeply with viewers and present healthier examples of love.

How Creators Can Portray Teen Romance Responsibly

While it’s tempting to lean on tried-and-true tropes for entertainment value, creators can enrich their storytelling by balancing drama with authenticity. Here are a few approaches:

  • 1. Show the Work Behind Relationships: Highlight the importance of communication, trust, and compromise rather than just focusing on spark and passion. Plots can include characters navigating misunderstandings or discussing their feelings honestly.
  • 2. Normalize Imperfection: Make space for messy, imperfect relationships. Show the characters learning and growing as they face realistic challenges instead of glossing over struggles or painting romantic conflicts in extremes.
  • 3. Diversify Representation: Include relationships that reflect a wide range of experiences. By portraying LGBTQ+ romances, cultural dynamics, and different family structures, creators can make their stories relatable to a broader audience while breaking away from cliched storylines.
  • 4. Include Friendship and Family as Central: Romance need not take center stage. Balancing teen stories with depictions of platonic and familial love helps de-emphasize the idea that romantic love is the only path to fulfillment.
  • 5. Supply Young Viewers with Realistic Role Models: Develop characters who possess emotional intelligence and self-awareness. When protagonists model healthy relationship behaviors, they teach young viewers valuable lessons about navigating their own connections.

Through balanced storytelling, they can reflect the joys and struggles of real-life connections, inspire healthier relationship dynamics, and remind young audiences that love doesn’t need to be perfect to be meaningful. After all, the most compelling romances aren’t just the ones you dream about but the ones that feel real.